Template:TMITM/Jan2013

 

2013, the year which shouldn't have been, according to previous statements and stuff... It seems we're still here. As it is Fairy Tail.

...

It's not always a good thing.

Let's go.

I - Chapter 313: Champion's Scenario
"Crunching crunchy food with his feet on the desk" Sho, where were we wlast wtime?



Oh, right...

"Pretends to be shocked" NO WAY! HOW CAN IT BE?! THERE'S NO WAY I'D EXPECT THAT!!!

"Sits back"

Sheesh.

Everyone is shocked by the appearance of a second Lucy, and some theories about the newcomer pop up (Gemini's copy, an Edolas counterpart, a way to insert some time paradox lesbian cuddling in the series...).

Lucy 2.0, however, rapidly reveals that she came from the future through the Eclipse gate.

...

The screaming animation at this point would be wasted.

Anyhow, the gal collapses unconscious to the ground before she has a chance to finish her sentence "Soon, this country... will... be...". In order to show some regard to my readers, I'll give you guys the chance to guess how this phrase ends. Pick one option (or more than one) from the following:


 * ... destroyed.
 * ... conquered.
 * ... smashed by the excessive curves of its female inhabitants.
 * ... bombarded by cheese.
 * ... Longcats_clashing.jpg

The choice is yours. Let me know which one/s you went for.

Anyhow, the group decides to leave with Lucy 2.0, who Natsu lays on his shoulders after fondling her butt for good.

Elsewhere... Oh, the fuck, it's the Princess and the Minister. Snow White and the Dwarf, AGAIN. What a pain in the ass!

Let's sum up their boring talk and say that Hisui's already unlocked the Eclipse gate with Celestial Spirit Keys. All that remains to be done is to open it.

On to something else... What was it again?



Yeah, that's right.

Kagura is pretty pissed, and orders Minerva to let go of the kitten. The "Tiger" doesn't comply, so the "Mermaid" rushes at her to attack... Only to clash swords with Erza again when Minerva switches her position with the Fairy Tail Mage. She then leaves, telling the two of them to fight. The winner will get to face her.

...

That's pretty much using Millianna as a hostage, smart girl. I thought you said there was something else on your mind, right?

Unless...

"Hears Millianna screaming with a muffled voice in the background, together with the sound of a whip cracking"

Oh, oh, I see... You're into that Minerva, this was the plan.

...

Let's just focus on the two swordswomen, right?

After headbutting Erza for "pretending Millianna is her friend", Kagura gets really angry, claiming she'll beat both her and Minerva.

Elsewhere, while Gajeel is busy throwing shit on Mavis' failed calculations (tell her, man!), he runs across Rogue (who got himself a new cape out of nowhere), and the two ready for battle.

'''FOR REAL?! WHAT A SURPRISING AND UNEXPECTED MATCHUP!'''

In yet another place, lightning is prepared to collide... Yes, you got it right, it's LAXUS!!!

This is probably Fairy Tail ' first positive thing in 2013.

And since it's lightning we're talking about, who else can be Laxus' opponent other than Orga Nanagear? The Sabertooth Mage, at long last, finally confirms himself as the Lightning God Slayer!

Hey, wait a minute. Is this it?

...

Seriously Orga, you just spit it out like that before the battle even ensues? This is completely anti-climatic! Didn't you learn anything from him?

Not to mention how Thunder God Slayer would have sounded way better.

Anyhow, Laxus tells him how killing gods is nothing compared to killing fairies.

As of now, Jura is still the only Mage without an opponent (Laxus vs Orga vs Jura Laxus vs Orga vs Jura LAXUS VS ORGA VS JURA!!! )... alongside Sting, who's nowhere to be seen, Visual Lacrima unable to find him.

The Sabertooth Mage is still sitting in the same alleyway from some time ago, where he claims to have thought up a "scenario" (hence the chapter's name) which will lead his guild to the ultimate victory for Lector's sake.

Hey, wait a minute... You mean Sting actually...

THINKS???!!!



For the first chapter of the year, this was a rather plain thing with plain contents and already foreseen matchups. Hope it will at least lead to some fights worth reading.

The art is good, but that's nothing new. Double page of Kagura and Erza clashing.

II - Chapter 314: Erza vs. Kagura


The chapter starts with Crime Sorcière, with whose members Lucy 2.0 has apparently interacted, telling them that the country will be destroyed the following day (for those of you who went for the "... destroyed" option in the above poll, congratulations! You chose an obvious answer not even remotely funny. Hope you're satisfied with yourselves, monsters). Meredy suggests evacuating the citizens, but Jellal notes how something feels wrong about the whole story.

Meanwhile, Erza and Kagura begin their battle, this time for real.

...

Well, battle is sort of an euphemism. It's more like "cleaning the toilet with Erza's face", since that's what Kagura does: she easily repels her, emerges unscathed from her Pentagram Sword, overcomes her Heaven's Wheel Armor with the Strong Form of Archenemy (giving the sword huge blunt abilities), and her Purgatory Armor with the Slashing Form (doing the same with cutting), and ultimately surpasses her Flight Armor and its new Sonic Claw attack in terms of speed. Fairy Tail goes "WTF?!" for most of the confrontation.

...

"Sits crunching popcorn"

A badly beaten Erza commits the mistake of openly asking whether Kagura's strength stems from her hatred towards Jellal.

Let's hear our sport reporter's comments on the situation.

'''Hello everyone! This is Sato reporting from Earthland here in the capital Crocus. The fierce battle between Erza and Kagura continues. Kagura seems to have the upper hand and what is this Erza’s provoking Kagura is she crazy?! Kagura runs and kicks and GOAL!!! Two points for Mermaid Heel! Back to you Ald!'''

Thank you.

Erza tells Kagura not to infect Millianna with her hatred and desire of vengeance... which earns her further beating. She finally resolves to ask why the Mermaid Heel Mage hates the man so much, and Kagura gives her an answer.

Her brother was Simon, who was killed by Jellal.

...

I seeee...

...

...

...

Seriously, am I no longer capable of showing surprise or is Mashima unable to create climatic moments and interesting connections between characters?

This was not shocking at all. I mean... Everyone's could have been Simon's sister. Her being Kagura is nothing special. Since the Tower of Heaven was likely Jellal's biggest and most well-known bad deed, it was expectable the gal's grudge would stem from it.

...

Am I the only one finding this whole thing banal?

Sheesh.

Anyhow, flashback time.

Simon and Kagura used to lead a poor but happy life, which was ruined when their village was raided by people gathering slaves for the Tower of Heaven. Kagura got away, and continued searching her brother for years until she finally came across Millianna, who told her of Simon's death at Jellal's hands. And this is how the revenge thing came up.

THE END

Compelling.

At this point, Erza reveals how Millianna was absent when Simon was killed, and that the death of Kagura's brother isn't Jellal's fault, but her own: it was her weakness which killed Simon.

Bad move.

Kagura snaps (for real! Think we'd never seen something like this in the series), and, much to her guildmates' shock, unsheathes Archenemy, spilling blood. Everyone looks on in dismay. Chapter ends.

...

So, yeah, that's it. While I enjoyed Erza having her ass trashed around, the family connection was nothing surprising or special. Still, a chapter better than many other. A note goes to the art, which reached a particular peak with a certain, peculiar picture.



Pretty awesome, seriously.

III - Chapter 315: Rosemary


...

...

...

Seriously, I ain't losing my time reviewing this. It's not like I can throw it away every time Mashima raises expectations and then merely shits on the blank page, miraculously giving birth to fine drawings but coming up with a storyline which is not unlike the material used to outline it.

Do us a favor and take up knitting.

Instead of reading a review about this hideous thing, I'll have you guys listen to a nice song. 'njoy yourselves.



IV - Chapter 316: The Future Accelerating Towards Despair


The chapter starts with... crap from last chapter. Not interested in it The only thing I'll be mentioning is that, hey, it looks like I was right about Minerva "having some quality time" with Millianna. For real, I wrote that before reading this.

Creeeeeeeeepy.

Anyhow, Rogue's getting pummeled around by Gajeel, but claims that Natsu is stronger than him. The Iron Dragon Slayer doesn't take it well. And here comes what I enjoy calling "Chapter 316's (but nothing new to Mashima's drawn production) Big Outfit Fuckup Extravaganza". Rogue is wearing his old outfit with a different coat. I bet he's only came around now to face Gajeel because he was switching attires.

Nice going.

Elsewhere, an epic clash is taking place.



... or rather, an epic clash would take place if this wasn't the second issue of Chapter 316's (but nothing new to Mashima's drawn production) Big Outfit Fuckup Extravaganza. Yeah, because it looks like Orga got his boots wet and had to switch them with shoes, and some slight cuts to his arms prompted him to remove his armbands and wrap his forearms in bandages. Not to mention how a sudden allergy to colorant had him delete his war paint. Seriously big fella, you've really been unlucky recently.

And your bad luck isn't over yet, for someone's noticed the would-be epic clash.



Fuck,  that's what we'd been waiting for!

Too bad the whole thing is ruined by yet another instalment of Chapter 316's (but nothing new to Mashima's drawn production) Big Outfit Fuckup Extravaganza: seriously, how many fucking times has Jura changed his outfit recently? Seriously, I can't seem to understand what the "canon" one is supposed to be; it'd even be hard to put or link images for every instance.

Anyhow, while Laxus remains pretty calm at the thought of facing "a beast", Orga shows some shock... great enough for his tattoo to reapper in the center of his face.

...

Eeeeeeeeeeeextravaganza.

Meanwhile, Juvia and Chelia are still favoring a childish catfight over their amazing power to become and control water and create black currents supposedly strong enough to slay deities. Gray and Lyon arrive on the scene: the whole thing is becoming a tag battle... and some weird love square.

Back to the Mercurius, Team Idiot can't seem to find a way out. Great. Yukino refers to the place as "Mr. Castle" (no, this has got nothing to do with the storyline, but it was still one of the chapter's best parts), and Lucy 2.0 wakes up. She reveals the group will be recaptured by the soldiers after going too close to Eclipse, having their Magic Power drained. When asked why did she travelled back in time, the girl reveals it was to avoid a certain future...

... the one which has Crocus destroyed by an army of over 10.000 Dragons.



Alright, I'm using this animation now, but, when I first read the chapter, my reaction was something like a plain expression and a half-hearted "Oh, really?". Don't know whether I'm getting more and more biased of if Mashima's simply incapable of coming up with surprising facts.

Anyhow, yeah, Dragons.

...

Longcats would have been way better.

This chapter was, again, rather plain. The long-awaited Laxus vs Orga vs Jura threesome is finally real... Though seriously, I wouldn't be surprised to see the three of them dressed up as Natsu cosplayers in next chapters, seeing as outfits are just an opinion in Fairy Tail.

Good art, nice 2-pages shot of the incoming Dragons.

Well, that's all. See ya guys next month.